So, I’ve survived the baby years, the terrible twos and the dreaded threenager. I made it. Pat me on the back and give me a glass of wine. Those before me that have lived to tell the tale, say the best has yet to come, that 4-year-olds leaving toddlerhood and entering the preschool age are kind of awesome. They live right there in that sweet spot where they can talk and interact and love on you and they just might, and I use that term loosely, listen to reason. That is, if they listen to you at all.
The day Lucas turned four, I was SUPER excited. No more threenager! Happy days ahead! Which for the most part, four has been awesome. But with any age, there are also challenges and I find myself in the fournipulator stage.
What’s a fournipulator you ask? I thought for sure when this word popped in my head I had heard it before and when I googled it, hundreds of articles would come up. However, all I got was:
Nada. Nothing. Zip. Zilge. Zero. Not a single thing about the fournipulator stage.
No worries though as I’ve come up with my own definition:
four•nip•u•la•tor (noun) a child who is of four years of age and controls or influences mommy and daddy in a clever or unscrupulous way.
Just look at that smile. Definition to a tee.
Some characteristics of a fournipulator:
- Joyous, exuberant, energetic, ridiculous.
- Extreme motions. Think… menopausal woman.
- I’ve read that the typical four-year-old is also speedy. I only agree in the sense that Lucas will move from one interest to the next at lightening speed. For everything else he is a sloth. Yes, I am comparing him to the super slow moving mammal. Have you seen the sloth in the movie Zootopia? That’s Lucas.
- He laughs almost too hilariously when things please him; howls and cries like a banshee when things go wrong.
- He can and is, on frequent occasion, extremely silly.
- Runs on nonstop batteries.
- DOES. NOT. LISTEN. Because apparently he does not like my rules. WTF?
- Never stops talking. And I mean NEEVVVVVVEEERRRRRRR.
- Lucas is really great company, 90%of the time.
- He finds everything interesting and loves to know more about how everything works. Especially volcanoes.
- He constantly wants to please and be my best friend. Until I piss him off and I am no longer his best friend. And then 10 minutes later I am his best friend again. Oh wait. Nope. I’m not his best friend. I really never know these days. It’s exhausting trying to keep up so at least I’ll always be his mom.
- Persistently demanding and bossy.
- Manipulative. AKA fake crying, screaming, pitting mommy and daddy against each other, big battle over every day things, naughty on purpose and pouting.
- He has the most awesome giggle.
Remain calm. I got this. Because #14 makes it all worth it.